African married men tend not to wear their wedding rings beyond the early years – or even months – of marriage. Of course this is merely my observation and does not in any way represent all African men. But it got me thinking about the possible consequences of being married but ring-less.
Recently my husband got some very random phone calls from a young lady who said he was “cute” and would like to know him better. 😳 What?! 😡😤 When he told me, I’m sure you could have seen my fangs rapidly popping out. Lol. Thankfully, the “proposition” turned out to be a harmless prank by a good friend. Phew! (To be fair, I have to mention that my husband never takes off his wedding ring. At the time we were waiting for the replacement; the original one was way too big.)
I also remember when, as a single lady, I met this guy in the church I attended at the time. He was good looking, well spoken and sharply dressed. Ladies, you know the kind you take one look at and think, “Hmm, okay…I’m listening.” And…no wedding ring. He’d walked up to me one Sunday after church and essentially asked me out. His ring-less finger coupled with the fact that he appeared to be an active church member meant my guard was a little bit lower than it would have been otherwise, so I gave him my number.
But as you’ve probably guessed, Mr Smooth was married. Thank God, that little episode didn’t go beyond a few casual phone calls. In fact, he’d called me shortly afterwards and confessed. Apparently whilst talking to one of his friends about this chick he met, he’d mentioned me by name and his friend had immediately scolded him: “Ah leave her alone o! That girl is a good girl. I knew her in university, she was one of those nice, church girls.” 😂 😂 That was God protecting me no doubt. The power of prayer in action.
Now am I saying that men who don’t wear their wedding rings intend to cheat? Haba! No o. Obviously some people do but most people have perfectly innocent reasons: it feels uncomfortable, they don’t like wearing jewellery, it no longer fits, they don’t see it as a big deal, etc. Some people might even think “I don’t need a piece of metal to tell me I’m married!”
But that’s exactly my point. The wedding ring is not necessarily for you. It is a public statement to total strangers that you have entered into a covenant with another person. Not wearing it could suggest you’re available and even the most innocent of people may wrongfully approach you or “crush” on you from a distance because they think you’re single.
So married people please o, try to wear your wedding ring (and encourage your partner to do too) so that everybody knows where they stand. 😄