Life as an introverted wife in an extroverted home

My family and I were on holiday recently. It was in one of those resorts where there are a hundred and one activities at your disposal. Literally. After two days of active and constant engagement from dawn to dusk, I was completely activity-ed out and desperately in need of some “me” time. When the rest of the gang wanted to go skating, I decided it was not particularly tasteful for a grown woman to repeatedly fall on her bottom and quickly took that as my chance to get away for some alone time.

Back at our gloriously empty chalet, I was like a kid in a candy store, excited at the prospect of peace and quiet and the art of nothingness. I was barely settled into a reclined seat with a lovely cup of tea when I heard a knock on the door. No, it can’t be. They’re back? Hmm mmh. They’re back! 😤 Husband-dearest walked in with the kids and said to me: “We came back early because it wasn’t the same without you.” Can you imagine? I didn’t know whether to be flattered or upset. To laugh or to cry. 😂😩  So I smiled and went to play with my family, silently reminding myself that it was after all a privilege to have that opportunity.

People who are extroverted can’t quite grasp the concept of an introvert’s “alone time.” After the umpteenth “Are you okay?” from my husband whenever I fell quiet or went upstairs to be by myself, I knew something had to be done. Fast! Lol.

Thankfully I came across a very helpful article, 14 things introverts wish you understood about them, and guess what was number 1 on the list?

1. Just because we’re not talking doesn’t mean we’re upset or depressed. Introverts tend to be thinkers rather than talkers. We don’t enjoy making small talk and we prefer to speak only when we really have something to say. If we go quiet on you, don’t take it personally.

So I shared it with husband-dearest. To my surprise, reading the article gave him much more clarity and assurance than I had been able to articulate. “Wow. This is very enlightening. Thank you.” I remember him saying. And I believe having those simple facts about my personality has gone a long way in helping him understand and relate with me better. Of course, he still forgets sometimes and asks, “Are you okay?” 😀

Please feel free to drop me a line if you have questions or comments.

Olawunmi xx

Photo Credit: Telegraph

Helpful articles on introversion:

20 Things to remember if you love an introvert

Introvert/extrovert quiz


9 thoughts on “Life as an introverted wife in an extroverted home

  1. I am actually a mid way extrovert and introvert. I meet the both personality at the middle. I process my thoughts carefully, I don’t talk too much, but I enjoy my private time alone. I’m not married yet but when I pick up my book to read or write, I get so lost for hours and my boyfriend feels left out. I get disturbed. We are just unique and to relate well we must understand our self and the partner. Great post! Well done Olawunmi!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Olawunmi,
    Being an introvert, i have had to tall my wife time without number that when you ‘gist’ you are asking me to solve a problem. Just imagine what happened with our first pregnancy? Constant reports of this change and that change in this and that part of the body, and me constantly saying this is what it means, only to be told that i was only sharing, there is no problem, i already knew that … finally i threatened to “go on training outside the country” during the next pregnancy for us to agree that – you can share but ensure you let me know you are just sharing, so i don’t start processing the information with a view to find a solution or getting worried


  3. Lawunmi that’s a very interesting piece. My case is the other way round. My husband is the introvert and men! It can be frustrating when you have family time together. My husband always like me time while I am the busy bee with activities. Thanks for sharing.


  4. 😂 I love this! I know that feeling all so well when you think you have the house all to yourself and someone shows up!
    For most of my life I thought I was extroverted, but I realised I’m only that bubbly after taking some time out by myself to “recharge”. The great thing about being at uni is I can take about 4 days off sometimes and not many people will notice 🙈 or if there’s a party – I’m really lively and energetic but will escape to my room for a bit then come back.


    1. Yes you’re right! It’s the “recharge” that’s key.

      And at “The great thing about being at uni is I can take about 4 days off sometimes and not many people will notice” I say, enjoy it while it lasts dear 😂
      Thanks for your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

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