Anger is actually not a bad word. It’s just an emotion. Nope, it was not invented by the devil. And heck no, it is not okay to blame it for every character flaw as a lot of people do. “I was angry so I…” is such a familiar and destructive tale. It takes maturity to understand and accept this truth: anger is not synonymous with sin. That is, it is very, very possible to feel the emotion of anger without letting it produce a negative outcome.
Anger is like fire – it has two sides. When it is used rightly it is beneficial and will even save a life. What could possibly be good about anger? You may wonder. Well, think back to your own past experiences and you will probably find situations that you would never have had the motivation or strength to change if you had not been angry or frustrated with them.
On the flip side, when anger is misused or uncontrolled, it is a formidable force that can destroy everything in its path. To prevent this, here are two habits you should develop and practise:
1.Put a guard on your mouth
Careless, poisonous and derogatory words spoken in anger carry a lot of weight. No, don’t dismiss or discount them as words you’re merely using to express how you feel at that time. They act as a double-edged sword. They will bring damage to the person they’re directed at, and to you who spoke them. A very good example to illustrate this is Moses. He got so frustrated with the Israelite camp that he lashed out in anger and called them “rebels.” Were they being rebellious? Absolutely! Were they at fault? Oh yes. Was he voicing his opinion of them at that time? Definitely. But what was the outcome? See for yourself:
They angered the Lord also at the waters of Meribah, so that it went ill with Moses for their sakes; For they provoked [Moses’] spirit, so that he spoke unadvisedly with his lips. They did not destroy the [heathen] nations as the Lord commanded them. Psalm 106:32-34 AMP
Can you see how Moses’ derogatory words produced a negative outcome for him and the Israelite camp? They both didn’t enter the promised land. When you’re angry and you feel like giving your spouse or children “a piece of your mind,” that’s the exact point you shouldn’t. Take a deep breath. Walk away if you need to. But put a guard on your mouth. If this is something you struggle with constantly, then use God’s word to destroy that habit. Make this confession to yourself out loud every day, as often as you can:
I speak only when I have something of value to say and I say it with kindness. I am a wise man/woman. I build the people in my life up with words of life. I do not tear them down with harsh words. (Reference – Proverbs 31:26; 16:22-24)
2.Recover quickly
Yes, you got angry. Okay, but move on quickly.
- Move on quickly from the anger and ill-feeling towards the person by choosing not to continually replay the negative thoughts and images over and over in your mind. And by taking active steps to resolve the issue and reconcile with the person.
- Move on quickly from the guilt. We all make mistakes but the wonderful thing is God is ever ready to forgive. So, don’t condemn yourself – don’t do the devil’s job for him! Repent quickly. Ask and receive grace to do better next time. Your Father loves you and will never withhold his love or his help from you.
I pray that God will continue to give you wisdom and strength to be all he has called you to be. And, do me a favour. SHARE THIS – there are people out there who are stuck and don’t know the way out.
With love,
Olawunmi xx
Married Life Today 