Married Life Today

This week is my first wedding anniversary. Yay! And whilst it’s been an awesome time overall, there have been lessons learnt and here are five “Ah-ha!” ones. Enjoy!

1. Your spouse will surprise you

You don’t fully know someone until you are married to them. Regardless of how long you date, the sense of “permanence” that only comes with marriage, as well as the natural tendency to relax as you become more comfortable, will bring up a side (or two! 😄) of the person that takes you off guard. Guaranteed. It is at this point you both (hopefully) choose to bear with each other’s faults as you make the necessary adjustments.

2. You will surprise yourself

You don’t fully know yourself until you are married. It’s like an only child that suddenly wakes up with a Siamese twin. Until you have to relate constantly with another human being on such an intimate level, you don’t know the depth of your own behavioural tendencies, good and bad.

3. Men don’t like being told what to do

In fact, the resistance increases the more you make it obvious you’re telling them what to do.😂 Ladies, if you want your husband to do what you want, you might have to become an expert in framing it so that it looks like his own idea. Or, as I did a few times, keep quiet, pray to God and ask him to find a way to tell him. It works!

4. Women want to be respected and men want to be loved

No, you didn’t read that wrong. There’s so much relationship advice on giving men respect and women, love. Yes, that’s very, very true. But I’ve found that you can’t really have a happy marriage by doing one at the exclusion of the other.

5. The “toothpaste-pressing” conflict is not a myth!😮

I’m a bottom-presser and husband-dearest is a midddle-presser. Ugh! Solution? Two separate toothpastes. 👏👏 In other words, there is a simple solution to every conflict you face. You just have to be willing and humble enough to find it.

It’s been a great all-weather year: 🌞☔️☃🌦😂😬😡💃😍😱🤔🙄😤😩😜😀😎. And I’m signing up for fifty more, by God’s wonderful grace.

I love you Dr B. 😘

Olawunmi xx